Created on Tuesday, 01 October 2013 20:49
1. Moral Courage
Happy people stand up for what’s right and don’t get pushed around by peer pressure into the newest fad or trend. They have the courage, conviction and inner strength to do what’s right, even while others reshape themselves into ever-shifting expressions of someone else’s standards, becoming shadows of other’s values.
Chameleons are not very sexy creatures. Real men and real know what they believe and value, and stand up courageously for those beliefs and values.
Happiness requires a degree of confidence that allows us to believe we have value, that we are worthy of love and friendship and success. Happy people have faith in themselves and in their ability to develop the skills and qualities needed to become highly competent at living life well.
Keep in mind, though, that it’s not the pseudo-confidence that hides insecurities under cocky exteriors that shout their accomplishments and exaggerate their strengths and experiences. It’s a humble self-acceptance and self-love that genuinely feels comfortable in their own skin.
They say nice people finish last, but that’s just not true. As a matter of fact, jerks are never completely trusted or respected by people who respect themselves. Happy people are thoughtful people. They consider the needs of others. Making a difference, in fact, takes center stage in their lives; it’s an important part of their self-identity.
Their thoughtfulness is measured in how they treat others, including those they don’t know, and in countless silent acts of kindness. If you’re not convinced that thoughtful people are both happy and sexy, just ask anyone in a loving relationship with a few years under their belt how sexy thoughtfulness is to them and how thoroughly unsexy its opposite is.
Happiness at its highest level includes living a life of passion and purpose. Happy lives are directed lives, pointed at something deeply meaningful. The happiest amongst us are excited about living because every day offers them another opportunity to do what they love, because truly passionate people have many interests, they are rarely bored, adrift or indolent.
Passion and purpose are ‘sexiness’ personified. Sexy people love life and love people and love what they spend their time doing. You may know people who are impassioned by nothing, who sit around and waste ungodly amounts of time. Are they sexy? Not at all.
Have you ever met a happy person who regularly evades responsibility, blames and points fingers and makes excuses for their unsatisfying lives? Me either. Happy people accept responsibility for how their lives unfold. They believe their own happiness is a byproduct of their own thinking, beliefs, attitudes, character and behavior.
And just as happy people never blame others, external circumstances or the universe for what is or isn’t a part of their lives, sexy people don’t either. Just think about the epitome of the unsexy: A whiny, sniveling, accusing, blaming, irresponsible victim of life. Not happy. Not sexy.
Liars hide from the truth. They lack the courage to stand up to the reality of their lives. They hide behind words and camouflage – their hidden agenda behind a web of stories and verbal slights of hand. Happy people don’t live that way. Honesty is a hallmark of the happiest amongst us. It is also a characteristic of the dangerously sexy.
There is no sexiness in a liar. They breed distrust. As a matter of fact, lying is one of the quickest ways to ruin a beautiful relationship. Indeed, trust is one of the sexiest characteristics of the singularly sexy.
Happy people are authentic. They are real and know who they are and what they like. They are in touch with their feelings and spend time learning and growing and developing. Self-accepting people may forgive themselves of their own shortcomings, but they don’t excuse them.
They look their weaknesses square in the eye, accept them as they are, then go to work growing and improving and transforming them into strengths. Self-acceptance is never used as an excuse for stagnation or laziness or apathy by the truly self-accepting.
Someone with that kind of self-awareness and forward momentum is almost universally considered sexy and attractive to others.